Finding the Lost Version of You

Kids have to be confident. I think about this often, how much credit we fail to give them. They get dropped off in new spaces, with new people, and no way to escape. They don't have jobs or accomplishments to introduce themselves with. They walk into spaces with only their hope of a friend and inner confidence in who they know themselves to be. They say things like, “I like orange, do you want to play with my toys with me?” They actually get to talk a lot about who they are, while the grown ups I feel may spend more time talking about what they've done.

But now, we grow up. We get the dream job. We become parents. We move. The movement of life seems to sweep with it our identities. But the you that moved, or was hired or fired or suddenly had to learn how to change diapers is still you…did we forget that?

In a recent conversation with a friend, she said, “I feel like somewhere I lost myself. I want to get back...except no one loses themselves on purpose, so it makes it hard to figure out how to return.”

Today we are picking us back up–the us underneath all the things.

1. Unfollow Liberally

Being trigger happy will with the un/follow button on social media is probably one of the most underrated tools we have to protect our minds, time, and joy. Most of us get on social media innocently, wanting to scroll for a moment, check out what ya girl is doing down in Houston etc., and then it happens, we see something that immediately washes a wave of dread, questions, or insecurity over us.

The Metaverse has a tricky way of making us want to be like, but who are you before and after that post? It's your name on that account, own it. Make social media your haven and inspiration, not your comparison, drama, or heartache chamber.

2. Have an “Unabashed” List

These are things you love, unabashedly and undebatably. These likes of yours, big or small make you you and don't have to be subject to the public court as everything seems to be.

You liked that song in the Grocery store? Ask Siri the name.

You love to sit on the back porch with a drink on Thursday nights and listen to Jazz, put it on your calendar.

These small hideaways remind us who we are and indicate that we aren't the same as the rest out there. Invite people into these moments with discretion and protect your unabashed moments at all costs.

3. Write down Destiny Cues

For many years, a copy piece of paper titled, Destiny Cues was scotch taped to the wall above my bed. Like an actor or actress on the backstage of life, I truly believe God gives us small whispers of what is to come. These whispers don't always need to be shared, but writing them down is a beautiful way to track back to the beginning when they come full circle and bring hope in directionless seasons. Sometimes a little listening and copy paper can remind us who we are more than anything else.