Look in the mirror-a note on acting like who you're called to be

In 2019, I dealt a lot with shame.

It was rarely in a super dramatic way. It was rarely the kind that then becomes a redemption story your Instagram followers can comment on later. It was most often bland, and quiet. As if someone strapped ankle weights to you before you woke up... so sometimes you couldn't even figure out why you were dragging your feet.

It doesn't take drama for bondage to set in.

The problem is, when it's there, you think that's who you are.

Do you do that? I swear, in the moments I've disappointed myself I hear a voice telling me, "That's just who you are. Why are you surprised? You know it takes a lot of work to be who you really want to be."

That right there is the problem. The shelves of self-help books and methods of self-refinement are quietly yelling, YOU HAVE TO DO THIS BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH YET. Our culture is thirsty to hear you say, "I'm great!" or "I'm working on it." We lock our arms around the flagpoles of personal progress and fly high with the liberty to try harder.

But what if that's not it?

All of this is super well intended. But if bettering ourselves doesn't start in a place that's sure and whole and confident (like a God who loves you), it's only going to circle back to the day where we mess it up and end up disappointed in ourselves-again.

In James 1 something really interesting is said, that mixes this up a bit.

James begins telling us things we should and shouldn't be doing. Stuff we all know. Stuff like, keep your temper down. Take the time to listen to others. Act right, etc. This is the everyday stuff, but is still so easy for us to trip on. And the voice in my head fills in the next lines.

In my head I naturally think, "Of course he has to say this, because that's not who we are. That's not who I am."

But instead James says this:

"Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like someone who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. "

Huh?

James doesn't say, "I'm reminding you of what to do because I know that's not who you really are. I know the real you wants to mess all this up and probably will."

Instead he says: When you trip. You simply forgot who you are. You forgot what you look like. Look in the mirror. When you remember again, you'll return to a beautiful path set before you.

When is the last time someone told you to be better because they know who you actually are. They know you are better. You are connected to better. Your father is better.

When I was in college I did something kind of weird, but it relates here. Anytime I was feeling really self-conscious about how I looked, I would grab a mirror and look at myself. For 10, sometimes 15 minutes. Actually look. I would look very closely at myself. I would look at the actual colors in my eyes. I would look at how my top lip dips perfectly from two little peaks. I would examine the mostly unnoticeable places on my face God decided to drop a freckle (my nose, just on my nose). And eventually, I would like what I saw. I would grow interested in what I saw. It was hard to walk away from those moments upset at me.

So what if we do that with our souls.

The point isn't that we are perfect. But the point is, that there's someone who thinks you're good. Really good. And they aren't fooled or just seeing potential. They know who you really are. And the greatest mirror to see that with is the cross of Christ. He took the very ugly that is in you, and crushed it. So that when you look in the mirror you don't have to stare at that. You get to see the good.

And when you see the good, you act like you see it.