4 Ways To Keep From Losing Yourself

The full length title of this post is "4 Ways to Keep From Losing Yourself in this Topsy Turvy World" in tribute to a fav Wonder Woman comic quote-HA. But don't worry it's only partly about boys.

Last week I was trolling through the overpriced Target housewares section talking to a friend. I felt like a certified woman you know, talking a little too loud about our personal identity crises while picking out the best photo album for the house I don't even own right now. But there was serious business to handle.

"I feel like somewhere I lost myself. I want to get back...except no one loses themselves on purpose, so it makes it hard to figure out how to return," my friend said.

And in the moment I didn't have too much to say back. She's right you know. None of us plan on getting here, on feeling this way. And though I probably couldn't describe the feeling itself well, I think a lot of us know exactly what she's talking about. Whether you're knee deep into a few year relationship and you stopped doing some of the things you love, your new dream job has become the only thing you think about, or simply the need to fit into what's expected shooed away some really special parts about you, you get this.

So no, none of us plan on getting here, but we can plan for when we do-or better yet how to guard against it.

Suggested below...

1. Unfollow Liberally

Being trigger happy will with the un/follow button on social media is probably one of the most underrated tools we have to protect our minds, time, and joy. Most of us get on social media innocently, wanting to scroll for a moment, check out what yo girl is doing down in Houston etc. etc., and then it happens, we see something that immediately washes a wave of dread, questions, or insecurity over us.

But why do we let this happen?

Whether it's someone throwing shade, or an ex's story showing he's moving on way too fast for your liking, or any other 15 second caption that trips you up when you weren't even expecting it, these things can get to us.

So,

Get rid of that ish.

You don't need it. It's your name on that account, own it. Make social media your haven and inspiration, not your comparison, drama, or heartache chamber.

2. Keep an 'I like' list

This one sounds a little silly, but I started doing this when I got into a serious relationship at the beginning of college. Inevitably, being around anyone who is different than you, you get to discover new places, music, opinions and more, and may even grow to like them. But you don't have to let your old loves die, even if none of the people around you are into it.

This one is really just about living aware. Noting that you really liked that song in the grocery store, that you actually hate going with him to Sunday soccer games, or that you haven't painted or created anything in a while.

3. WRITE down your Destiny Cues

You guys I absolutely LOVE this one.

Above my bed is a copy piece of paper that reads Destiny Cues. And like an actor or actress on the backstage of life, I truly believe God gives us small whispers of what is to come. These whispers don't always need to be shared, but writing them down is a beautiful way to see His kindness when they happen! And to give you hope and direction when it seems like life has no direction.

Want proof? About 9 months ago I wrote on there that I might be going somewhere with an international organization to work with women's rights. This was before any applications, offers, etc. And now I'm going to Uganda. There are Destiny Cues laid out all through life, don't miss them.

4. Have other voices.

Sometimes the best way to keep yourself to hear out people/things that are very different than you. Our generation lives in an echo chamber, we are boldly outspoken about everyone having their own opinion, but vehemently against listening to anyone's but our own. Open up the airwaves. Don't let your twitter feed be your best friend. Be willing to be wrong.

The most grounding other voice for me is that of the Lord. The world can feel like a tornado of expectation sometimes, and I always need the voice of the actual bible to help me recenter on what is true.

That's it! Keep yourself, grow yourself-you're no groupie my dear, and the world is better when you walk in that.

xx